Reflection of My Life

Upon recent reflection of my life, I have realized that I am achieving all the goals I have set out to accomplish. I will soon need to make new ones and focus on where I want to be a couple years from now. School is nearing an end and I have an offer in place for a company that I have longed to be a part of for a couple of years. These past few weeks I've began doubting if this is for me. I love the company, enjoyed working for them (only for a summer internship), and have grown a passion for what they do. Why am I doubting? Because should things that I've worked for so hard come this easy? Another company contacted me yesterday asking why I hadn't applied for a full-time position with them yet. I was honest and told her my dilemma. She encouraged me to apply. The problem comes in timing. What to do... what to do...

5 Year Anniversary of September 11th

Today is the five year anniversary of that terrible day, 9/11. I hope each of us can take a moment to remember those who died in such innocence. Below are links of the media coverage:

Solemn tributes mark 9/11's fifth anniversary

In N.Y. and Around U.S., a Solemn Day to Remember 9/11

About That 'Hole In The Ground'

US remembers 9/11 five years on

Nation stops again to remember 9/11 tragedy

May the horror and emotions experienced never be forgotten. There are many people who believe that 9/11 was a conspiracy. Despite this debate, the event still occurred and lives were still lost. What an awful day.

Friendships Taken For Granted

Life can get so frustrating at times. It's an infinite cycle of ups and downs. While the bad times can help you appreciate the good times, they're difficult to get through. After having almost lost a friendship, it's helped me see how glad I am to have fought to keep it in tact. His friendship was taken for granted which is something I'll never do again.

It's interesting how you can believe that a friendship is on good terms only later to find out that you were being fooled. I recently found out that a "good friend" of mine was telling lies about me. How does one react? I cannot disregard the fact that I did hear these lies through the grapevine; thus, I will not rule out that these lies might be lies. Let me explain the situation in greater detail. When I was dating him, he told me that other girls interested in him would call him and because he liked me, he disregarded them and wouldn't answer their texts or calls. Of course, my naivety overrid my gut instincts and I believed him because I loved him. (Looking back, I wonder if it really was love... but that is a story for another time). I cared for him and put my entire trust in him only to get slapped in the face for it and face humiliation. Now I hear he's telling his new girl the same thing but about me. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, I am calling him and texting him all the time begging him to come back to me and asking to hang out. I find it ironic because in reality, it's the opposite. When I returned from LA, he asked and begged me to come to his house. He just wanted to "catch up." We did hang out and it was fun to chat like old times but I have not contacted him since. I've got enough drama in my life right now I do not need him back in it. I've decided that I'll just let it go. There's nothing that I can do about it but I know that I am not "begging him to come back to me."

I love my friends.

Good times.

Right now I'm learning to accept that knowing what the future holds, only time will tell. It's a difficult concept to not know what to do and if you should act on a gut feeling. For the first time in a long while, I'm taking my gut feeling over my logical thinking. I hope that the future has something nice in store for me.

Returning to Salt Lake City

Being back in Utah County has only increased my desire to get back to LA. I loved living there and met some amazing people. I start school today and have one more year left to go before I graduate in Business Finance. I am planning on moving back to LA in July and will be there on a more permanent basis this time.

When I initially left Utah for LA, I left some drama behind. I knew I couldn't run away forever from the drama but I was planning on postponing it until my return. I was excited to start a "new life" in LA drama-free. Wishes don't always come true. I had my transmission fail which was rebuilt, some interesting times with a co-worker, car wreck that totalled my car after being out of the shop for only two weeks, and got strep... which the infection came back two weeks later. On the bright side, I met many great people and made friends, got to go to the beach, confirmed that I love insurance broking, and I finally turned 21.

The one I miss the most...

Leaving LA, I was sad but happy to leave that drama behind. Coming back to Utah, the drama started after only two days of being here. Ran into some friends I wasn't expecting to see so soon and almost lost a friend.

There are some people in my life that I hold close to my heart, as much as I care for them, they aren't always good for me to be around. The problem is that because I care for them so much, I cannot help but want to be around them. But when I'm away from their presence, I realize how much better off I am without them. It may appear to be ironic to experience such emotions for one person but they are real.

The climax of my most recent drama occurred Saturday night. My friend and I love being around each other but without a doubt, nearly every time we hang out, we fight. Saturday night was one of our worst fights ever. After many tears, it concluded with us ending our friendship. Sunday we chatted for a while and finally worked things out. As much as I hate fighting with him, in a way, some of our fights seem to bring us closer and help us better understand each other.

Life is good. I'm anxious to see how my classes are. Because I am taking an envelope of classes for my major, I will be with the same people for all five classes. Actually, within the section, we are put into smaller groups of about five people and those are the people I'll be working with all semester long...

I miss my roommates from last year. One of my girlfriends came and visited me last week. Hopefully I'll see her again soon.