When I was growing up, I didn't really like art class being more left brained than right. Well, from the news, I guess there's a new wave of art.
CAUTION: The contents of both sites are very controversial.
Aliza Shvarts
Jonathan Yegge
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Friday, April 18, 2008
Tap... No... Flat Water Please
The concept of bottled water is a phenomenon to most. Some people are baffled at the idea of spending $1+ for some water. They've done studies on bottled water and some have concluded that bottled water is sometimes no better than the water that leaves our faucets.
When at a restaurant, your server asks you whether you'd like bottled or tap water. These days, we're all about not looking "cheap" so for appearances alone, some will opt for bottled. Tap can be considered degrading. As for me, as long as the water from the faucet is clean, I'm all for tap. I grew up in Utah where the water is actaully very good. Restaurants have now realized that they don't want their customers feeling lower class so now the term "tap" has changed to "flat."
I find it interesting that over time, words we say or things we do regularly, become offensive to people. For example, words that carry gender. It's impolite to call a police officer a policeman. There are other changes such as stewardess to flight attendant, mailman to letter carrier or postal worker, chairman to chairperson or chair, spokesman to spokesperson, anchorman to anchor, wife or husband to spouse, mothering to parenting or nurturing, housewife to homemaker...
Makes me wonder what "flaw" will be thought of next.
When at a restaurant, your server asks you whether you'd like bottled or tap water. These days, we're all about not looking "cheap" so for appearances alone, some will opt for bottled. Tap can be considered degrading. As for me, as long as the water from the faucet is clean, I'm all for tap. I grew up in Utah where the water is actaully very good. Restaurants have now realized that they don't want their customers feeling lower class so now the term "tap" has changed to "flat."
I find it interesting that over time, words we say or things we do regularly, become offensive to people. For example, words that carry gender. It's impolite to call a police officer a policeman. There are other changes such as stewardess to flight attendant, mailman to letter carrier or postal worker, chairman to chairperson or chair, spokesman to spokesperson, anchorman to anchor, wife or husband to spouse, mothering to parenting or nurturing, housewife to homemaker...
Makes me wonder what "flaw" will be thought of next.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
McCain and Health Care
Today on my drive in to work, I was listening to NPR. Which, by the way, as a kid I couldn't understand why my parents preferred talk radio over music. I thought it was very uncool. Now that I'm all "grown up" (or trying to grow up) listening to the news radio in your car is a great way to catch up on news.
ANYWAY, today one of the topics was health care. Clinton and Obama have similar plans with only extreme details that differ whereas McCain's plan couldn't be more opposite. Did you know that there are 47 million people in the U.S. who do NOT have any type of health coverage? Well, I knew it was high but that number caught me off guard. My risk analysis side of me definitely started "freaking out" for lack of better words. Yes, there are some included in that number who opt out because they feel they don't need it or they have the money to live without insurance, but the majority are people who simply cannot afford it. To me, that's a HUGE problem. If someone wants/needs health care, they should be able to get it.
McCain doesn't think so. Again, shocked, I continued to listen. While I couldn't be more against McCain I thought, I'd really like to hear his reasoning as to why these 47 million people don't matter to him. He said that unlike Clinton and Obama, he doesn't believe in universal health care. Understandable, there are many people who don't. But then he continued, he said:
"I don’t think that there should be a mandate for every American to have health insurance. I think that one of our goals should be that every American own their own home, but I’m not going to mandate that every American own their own home. I think that every American should have, be available to, an affordable college education. But I’m not going to mandate that every American go to college. I feel the same way about health care. If it’s affordable and available, then it seems to me that again, it’s a matter of choice amongst Americans. "
I went online today and found that these comments were made sometime around October 2007. He proposes a tax credit to families to pay for their health care. But did he honestly have to compare health care to owning a home or going to college?! Where does this guy come from?? He of all people, seeing that he's 71, should understand that college is a luxury. I literally laughed out loud while driving alone in my car. And owning a home? Well Mr. McCain, we are in a housing crisis so comparing the situation to everyone owning a home is probably not the best timing.
ANYWAY, today one of the topics was health care. Clinton and Obama have similar plans with only extreme details that differ whereas McCain's plan couldn't be more opposite. Did you know that there are 47 million people in the U.S. who do NOT have any type of health coverage? Well, I knew it was high but that number caught me off guard. My risk analysis side of me definitely started "freaking out" for lack of better words. Yes, there are some included in that number who opt out because they feel they don't need it or they have the money to live without insurance, but the majority are people who simply cannot afford it. To me, that's a HUGE problem. If someone wants/needs health care, they should be able to get it.
McCain doesn't think so. Again, shocked, I continued to listen. While I couldn't be more against McCain I thought, I'd really like to hear his reasoning as to why these 47 million people don't matter to him. He said that unlike Clinton and Obama, he doesn't believe in universal health care. Understandable, there are many people who don't. But then he continued, he said:
"I don’t think that there should be a mandate for every American to have health insurance. I think that one of our goals should be that every American own their own home, but I’m not going to mandate that every American own their own home. I think that every American should have, be available to, an affordable college education. But I’m not going to mandate that every American go to college. I feel the same way about health care. If it’s affordable and available, then it seems to me that again, it’s a matter of choice amongst Americans. "
I went online today and found that these comments were made sometime around October 2007. He proposes a tax credit to families to pay for their health care. But did he honestly have to compare health care to owning a home or going to college?! Where does this guy come from?? He of all people, seeing that he's 71, should understand that college is a luxury. I literally laughed out loud while driving alone in my car. And owning a home? Well Mr. McCain, we are in a housing crisis so comparing the situation to everyone owning a home is probably not the best timing.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Helpful Tips For All You Poopers
I wish I could take credit for writing this; unfortunately, it was a forwarded email. Therefore, all credit goes to the lovely Amber for sending this to me. Enjoy.
HOW TO POOP AT WORK
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORKPOOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.
CROP DUSTING:
When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.
FLY BY:
This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
ESCAPEE:
This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter it the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK:
When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH:
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of airtime the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME:
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER:
This is a colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N):
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of the Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS:
A Safe Haven is a seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR:
This is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH:
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall is called a Camo-Cough. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. The Camo-Cough is very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
STAIRE:
An Astaire is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This w ill remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
WATERMELON:
A watermelon is a big poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANA OMELET:
A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
UNCLE TODD:
An Uncle Todd is a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. This person could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Todd makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as other bathroom attendees.
HOW TO POOP AT WORK
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORKPOOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.
CROP DUSTING:
When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.
FLY BY:
This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
ESCAPEE:
This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter it the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK:
When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH:
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of airtime the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME:
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER:
This is a colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N):
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of the Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS:
A Safe Haven is a seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR:
This is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH:
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall is called a Camo-Cough. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. The Camo-Cough is very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
STAIRE:
An Astaire is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This w ill remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
WATERMELON:
A watermelon is a big poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANA OMELET:
A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
UNCLE TODD:
An Uncle Todd is a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. This person could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Todd makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as other bathroom attendees.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Thank You For NOT Smoking
A few weeks ago, I got a call telling me about a situation that happened at a park. Apparently, there were some teenagers/young adults who were playing on the playground. I'm sure you're wondering WHY they were even playing on the playground... I am too, trust me, don't question too long, I think I've finally come up with an excuse which I'll tell you later.
Anyway, let's call the person that called me Mary. Mary took her two children, Johnny (2 years old) and Sally (4 years old), to the same park where the teenagers were also "playing." Johnny and Sally were playing with the teenagers and their dog. Everyone was having a great time until one of the teenagers, we'll call her Sarah, pulled out a cigarette and lit up. So if this were a painting on a wall, and you had to explain what was wrong with this "picture," isn't the first thing that comes to mind that there are kids around and this girl is lighting up?! Mary thought so too. (Side note: The city agrees too, that's why they posted NO SMOKING signs at the playground). Mary spoke up, told her she needed to put the cigarette out due to her children being on the playground. Ok, reasonable request, any SANE person would agree. Sarah disagreed, I'm sure in her mind she must be thinking, "Who are you? My Mom??" Actually Sarah, speaking of your mother, didn't she teach you that smoking is bad? Oh, she did? Ok, well didn't she teach you what respect is? Oh, ok, yeah, that is a big word, maybe when you grow up you'll understand when you are disrespected. Yes, learning the hard way is sometimes the only way. Sarah proceeded to get angry at Mary, calling her names and swearing at her in front of the children.
As Mary proceeds to tell me this story, I'm annoyed at Sarah. Mary says she thinks that she'll be the topic of their conversation for the rest of the day. I say, you know what Mary? Good! If their lives are so boring that all they can talk about is that mean lady with the children at the park then good! I'm glad you gave some spice to their boring lives. Let them talk all they want. I feel bad for them if that really was the case. I feel bad that they lead such uneventful lives. I feel bad that they can find nothing better to do than "play" in a park. Which leads me to my analysis of all this, being a logical person, I had to figure out why this girl was the way she is. My conclusion, that cigarette was weed. She's a young girl trying to be cool, which is why she got into weed in the first place, and then mouthing off to Mary was her way of showing off to the boys she was with. Poor thing. One day Sarah will learn that respect will get you a lot farther than being mean. For her sake, I hope it's sooner than later.
Anyway, let's call the person that called me Mary. Mary took her two children, Johnny (2 years old) and Sally (4 years old), to the same park where the teenagers were also "playing." Johnny and Sally were playing with the teenagers and their dog. Everyone was having a great time until one of the teenagers, we'll call her Sarah, pulled out a cigarette and lit up. So if this were a painting on a wall, and you had to explain what was wrong with this "picture," isn't the first thing that comes to mind that there are kids around and this girl is lighting up?! Mary thought so too. (Side note: The city agrees too, that's why they posted NO SMOKING signs at the playground). Mary spoke up, told her she needed to put the cigarette out due to her children being on the playground. Ok, reasonable request, any SANE person would agree. Sarah disagreed, I'm sure in her mind she must be thinking, "Who are you? My Mom??" Actually Sarah, speaking of your mother, didn't she teach you that smoking is bad? Oh, she did? Ok, well didn't she teach you what respect is? Oh, ok, yeah, that is a big word, maybe when you grow up you'll understand when you are disrespected. Yes, learning the hard way is sometimes the only way. Sarah proceeded to get angry at Mary, calling her names and swearing at her in front of the children.
As Mary proceeds to tell me this story, I'm annoyed at Sarah. Mary says she thinks that she'll be the topic of their conversation for the rest of the day. I say, you know what Mary? Good! If their lives are so boring that all they can talk about is that mean lady with the children at the park then good! I'm glad you gave some spice to their boring lives. Let them talk all they want. I feel bad for them if that really was the case. I feel bad that they lead such uneventful lives. I feel bad that they can find nothing better to do than "play" in a park. Which leads me to my analysis of all this, being a logical person, I had to figure out why this girl was the way she is. My conclusion, that cigarette was weed. She's a young girl trying to be cool, which is why she got into weed in the first place, and then mouthing off to Mary was her way of showing off to the boys she was with. Poor thing. One day Sarah will learn that respect will get you a lot farther than being mean. For her sake, I hope it's sooner than later.
Friday, September 15, 2006
Reflection of My Life
Upon recent reflection of my life, I have realized that I am achieving all the goals I have set out to accomplish. I will soon need to make new ones and focus on where I want to be a couple years from now. School is nearing an end and I have an offer in place for a company that I have longed to be a part of for a couple of years. These past few weeks I've began doubting if this is for me. I love the company, enjoyed working for them (only for a summer internship), and have grown a passion for what they do. Why am I doubting? Because should things that I've worked for so hard come this easy? Another company contacted me yesterday asking why I hadn't applied for a full-time position with them yet. I was honest and told her my dilemma. She encouraged me to apply. The problem comes in timing. What to do... what to do...
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Friendships Taken For Granted
Life can get so frustrating at times. It's an infinite cycle of ups and downs. While the bad times can help you appreciate the good times, they're difficult to get through. After having almost lost a friendship, it's helped me see how glad I am to have fought to keep it in tact. His friendship was taken for granted which is something I'll never do again.
I love my friends.
It's interesting how you can believe that a friendship is on good terms only later to find out that you were being fooled. I recently found out that a "good friend" of mine was telling lies about me. How does one react? I cannot disregard the fact that I did hear these lies through the grapevine; thus, I will not rule out that these lies might be lies. Let me explain the situation in greater detail. When I was dating him, he told me that other girls interested in him would call him and because he liked me, he disregarded them and wouldn't answer their texts or calls. Of course, my naivety overrid my gut instincts and I believed him because I loved him. (Looking back, I wonder if it really was love... but that is a story for another time). I cared for him and put my entire trust in him only to get slapped in the face for it and face humiliation. Now I hear he's telling his new girl the same thing but about me. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, I am calling him and texting him all the time begging him to come back to me and asking to hang out. I find it ironic because in reality, it's the opposite. When I returned from LA, he asked and begged me to come to his house. He just wanted to "catch up." We did hang out and it was fun to chat like old times but I have not contacted him since. I've got enough drama in my life right now I do not need him back in it. I've decided that I'll just let it go. There's nothing that I can do about it but I know that I am not "begging him to come back to me."
I love my friends.
Good times.
Right now I'm learning to accept that knowing what the future holds, only time will tell. It's a difficult concept to not know what to do and if you should act on a gut feeling. For the first time in a long while, I'm taking my gut feeling over my logical thinking. I hope that the future has something nice in store for me.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Returning to Salt Lake City
Being back in Utah County has only increased my desire to get back to LA. I loved living there and met some amazing people. I start school today and have one more year left to go before I graduate in Business Finance. I am planning on moving back to LA in July and will be there on a more permanent basis this time.
When I initially left Utah for LA, I left some drama behind. I knew I couldn't run away forever from the drama but I was planning on postponing it until my return. I was excited to start a "new life" in LA drama-free. Wishes don't always come true. I had my transmission fail which was rebuilt, some interesting times with a co-worker, car wreck that totalled my car after being out of the shop for only two weeks, and got strep... which the infection came back two weeks later. On the bright side, I met many great people and made friends, got to go to the beach, confirmed that I love insurance broking, and I finally turned 21.
The one I miss the most...
There are some people in my life that I hold close to my heart, as much as I care for them, they aren't always good for me to be around. The problem is that because I care for them so much, I cannot help but want to be around them. But when I'm away from their presence, I realize how much better off I am without them. It may appear to be ironic to experience such emotions for one person but they are real.
When I initially left Utah for LA, I left some drama behind. I knew I couldn't run away forever from the drama but I was planning on postponing it until my return. I was excited to start a "new life" in LA drama-free. Wishes don't always come true. I had my transmission fail which was rebuilt, some interesting times with a co-worker, car wreck that totalled my car after being out of the shop for only two weeks, and got strep... which the infection came back two weeks later. On the bright side, I met many great people and made friends, got to go to the beach, confirmed that I love insurance broking, and I finally turned 21.
The one I miss the most...
There are some people in my life that I hold close to my heart, as much as I care for them, they aren't always good for me to be around. The problem is that because I care for them so much, I cannot help but want to be around them. But when I'm away from their presence, I realize how much better off I am without them. It may appear to be ironic to experience such emotions for one person but they are real.
The climax of my most recent drama occurred Saturday night. My friend and I love being around each other but without a doubt, nearly every time we hang out, we fight. Saturday night was one of our worst fights ever. After many tears, it concluded with us ending our friendship. Sunday we chatted for a while and finally worked things out. As much as I hate fighting with him, in a way, some of our fights seem to bring us closer and help us better understand each other.
Life is good. I'm anxious to see how my classes are. Because I am taking an envelope of classes for my major, I will be with the same people for all five classes. Actually, within the section, we are put into smaller groups of about five people and those are the people I'll be working with all semester long...
I miss my roommates from last year. One of my girlfriends came and visited me last week. Hopefully I'll see her again soon.
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